Gaaahhh! I can't believe I left Sarah Michelle Gellar and Catherine Zeta-Jones off The List. So now it's a Top 13 list.

Dammit, I'm going to have to put a cap on the list at some point.

What was Jesus H. Christ's middle name? Henry? Harvey? Horatio? Hakim?

How about Hershel (well, he was Jewish...)? Or maybe Hector (Jesus is a common Hispanic name...)?

Last spring, I caught astronaut Paul "Paco" Lockhart before he went on his first space flight (STS-111, June 2002, to the International Space Station). This flight was going to be the first to have Texas Exes as both the Commander (Ken "Taco" Cockrell, class of '72) and Pilot (Lockhart, class of '81). I had spoken to him before his flight about what kind of University of Texas stuff he was going to be bringing into space, and I mentioned I had a photograph of the Tower lit up with a "1" that I took in 1985 when I was a student there. I offered to give him the photo if he needed one.

Flash forward to June 2002, when he's getting ready to fly. We had both forgotten about the photo, and I didn't remember until the very day he left for KSC (a week before launch). I sent him an email about it, but it was too late. Fortunately, a couple of launch delays gave us enough extra time for me to give the photo to another astronaut who was going to be flying to KSC, and then it got passed to Paco and flew in space. Woohoo!

Seems while he was in space, he took photos of all the souvenirs that the crew flew for family and friends. Including mine. When he came back, not only did I get my photo back (complete with a postmark on the back that showed it had been to the ISS), but I also got an 8x10 photo of my photo in the shuttle's window with the Earth in the background.

How cool is that?

Among other places, we sent a copy to the University of Texas Department of Aerospace Engineering, where it was placed on the department's home page for the months of February and March, 2003.

Just thought I'd brag a bit about what a cool job I have.

Finally got around to updating the logo on my home page. For the longest time it used to be a simple red-on-transparent image in Village font (based on the font from the old "Prisoner" tv series). Now it's all funky in "Bremen Bd BT" with a little drop shadow and a little bit of colored edges (yay Paint Shop Pro!). I think it looks better, and isn't that all that really matters?

If you're driving in the left-hand lane and people keep passing you on the right, even if you're going at or over the speed limit, MOVE THE HELL OVER!

I should probably make this a Royal Decree or something.

So a bunch of cow-orkers (among whom is Linda) were having a discussion at lunch recently about that episode of Friends in which Ross reveals the names on The List (that is, the list of celebrities who your significant other would allow you to sleep with, given the highly implausible likelihood of you ever meeting), one of whom was Isabella Rosselini. But darn it, he just took her off the list because of the geographic improbability of meeting her, and wouldn't you know it, she walks into the coffee shop, and now he can't sleep with her because she's not on the list any more. Wacky hijinx ensued.

In this situation, I have an advantage in not having to ask my SO whether or not I can have a List, that being I don't have an SO. Thus if I meet Sandra Bullock, for example, I don't have to have anyone's prior permission to sleep with her. So it all works out.

It's tough enough coming up with five celebrities and then ranking them, so I'll choose as many as I need to and list them alphabetically. That way, if one of them sees this, they won't be upset that they're not number 1 on the List, which would certainly hurt my chances of getting to sleep with them.

My top 11 (as of today), in alphabetical order:

1. Jennifer Aniston
   
2. Halle Berry (closest to my age - born one day after me)
   
3. Sandra Bullock
   
4. Jennifer Connelly
   
5. Sherilyn Fenn
   
6. Katie Holmes (the youngest on my list, born 1978)
   
7. Nicole Kidman
   
8. Meg Ryan
   
9. Rena Sofer (and she's Jewish, too!)
   
10. Sarah Silverman (another Jew!)
    
11. Lea Thompson (the oldest on my list, born 5/1961)
    

But just to be on the safe side, I won't laminate my list, in case I need to add more names.

Oh, and yeah, like Jennifer Aniston is going to dump Brad Pitt for me. Hell, I've got a better chance at Nicole Kidman dumping Tom Cruise for me....

Just on the off-chance I'm ever elected King (I'd have to be elected, since I wasn't born into royalty), I've lately started thinking about what my Royal Decrees would be. I'll probably wind up with a bunch of these on a separate page, but since there are only two of them right now, I'll leave them here. I'd be a benevolent dictator, I'm sure.

Since I'd be King, my rulings and decrees would be pretty much on the trivial and inconsequential side. I'll leave the details of enforcement up to my advisors, staff, underlings, and lackeys. I get to make the rules, let someone else figure out how to implement them.

It's good to be the King.

Royal Decree #1 (a.k.a. "The Christmas Decree")
a) No store shall be allowed to display or sell Christmas-related items, nor decorate their store in a Christmas theme, until the weekend just before Thanksgiving.
b) No house/apartment/dwelling of whatever kind shall be allowed to be decorated in a Christmas theme until Thanksgiving Day.
c) All Christmas decorations must be removed by the end of the first weekend following New Year's Day.

I'm really getting pissed off when stores start putting their stuff out for sale before Halloween. I don't care to "get in the Christmas spirit" two frickin' months early. Plus, since I'm Jewish, I don't really get in the Christmas spirit at all, but as the benevolant dictator, I'll keep the peasants happy by allowing them to celebrate. For those who are concerned with the rush and crowds of people that weekend before Christmas, well, tough. If you want to decorate your house early, be prepared to suffer for the privelege.

Royal Decree #2 (a.k.a. "The Pickles and Nuts Decree")
a) Pickles shall henceforth no longer be included as part of a sandwich by default.
b) Nuts shall henceforth no longer be included in any kind of dessert by default, except where clearly labeled.

I dislike pickles. And I hate having to ask them to hold the pickles when I order a burger or sandwich. I'm sure there are more people in this world that don't like pickles than do like them. Why make us suffer? If you like them, ask for them. And as for nuts, whoever thought of including them inside brownies or on top of ice cream, and making that the default, should be shot. Nuts are OK, ice cream and brownies are OK, but nuts in brownies is definitely NOT OK. Exceptions include the clearly labeled Peanut M&Ms, Mr. Goodbar, Hershey's Kisses with Almonds, etc. Mmmm, chocolate.

A cow-orker suggested a third decree be that restaurants which serve sweetened ice tea should also serve unsweetened, since invariably it's too sweet. Since I don't like ice tea to begin with, this does not rank highly enough on my King-o-meter that I'd concern myself with a Royal Decree, but I told him I'd make him the Duke of Ice Tea so he can set the rules.